Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy by Jamie Martin is a lovely literary feast that reassures introverted moms that their quiet natures are actually a gift to their families. At the same time, Jamie does not hold back on pointing out just how devastating daily life as a mom can be for women with an introverted nature. Jamie is a deeply introverted mother who has navigated being a full time stay at home mom, homeschooler, and adoptive mom. Introverted Mom is a pleasing blend of personal stories and wisdom from beloved introverted authors such as L.M. Montgomery, Jane Austen, and Louisa May Alcott. However, as enjoyable a book as Introverted Mom is, I ponder how much better this book could be with a Catholic flavor, drawing on the wisdom of introverted Saints along with authors.
Are you an introvert?
Jamie begins with a self-assessment of your introversion level. Moms who are already familiar with personality testing can skim this part. But some moms who generally consider themselves extroverts may be surprised to learn that they actually fall on the introversion spectrum. As Jamie explains, motherhood is particularly difficult for introverts due to the sheer number of introvert stressors inherent to being a mom. So someone who may have always considered themselves an extrovert may find themselves overwhelmed by motherhood until they recognize and accept their true introversion.
The funnest parts of Introverted Mom are all the quotes and reflections on some favorite introverted authors: Louisa May Alcott, Jane Austen, L.M. Montgomery, and Laura Ingalls Wilder. Their thoughts on finding peace and happiness in daily life will resonate deeply with introverts. Jamie also draws on modern day introverted author Susan Cain and her fascinating book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Quiet happens to be one of my personal favorite books, so I loved that Jamie drew on some of Cain’s psychological insights and scientific studies.
The basic premise in Quiet and Introverted Mom is that western culture, especially in America, values extroverted strengths while ignoring or disparaging the natural strengths of introverts. (For example: ever been called too quiet?) Quiet uses reams of research, science, studies, and anthropology to challenge the notion that there is something inherently better or preferable about extroverted characters. It’s thought-provoking and evidence-based. Introverted Mom is much less scientific and more personal in its scope, drawing on anecdotes, famous quotes, and common sense to encourage introverted women to accept and appreciate their strengths- and weaknesses. Depending on your taste in literature, you may enjoy one or both books. As Jamie might point out, if you’re a Meyers-Briggs Personality Test F, you’ll enjoy her book more; if you’re a T like me you’ll probably prefer Quiet!
I think Jamie made a solid effort to give this book as broad a Christian appeal as possible. There is nothing anti-Catholic, and even a nice reflection on Mary as an introverted mother. On the other hand, her humorous reflections on being an introvert in a charismatic church are clearly aimed at evangelical Protestants. Although Jamie finds a way to laugh at how out of place introversion is in a charismatic church, she also seems to feel a certain longing for a more natural way of worship. She prefaces her chapter on religion with a popular L. M. Montgomery passage about needing silence and solitude to connect with God:
“If I really wanted to pray I’ll tell you what I’d do. I’d go out into a great big field all alone or in the woods and I’d look up into the sky…”Anne of Green Gables, L. M. Montgomery (emphasis added)
I think Jamie, and other Protestant introverts, have a rougher time of it than Catholic introverts when it comes to prayer and worship. This is one reason I think a similar book for introverted moms written from a Catholic perspective could have so much more depth.
For those with an introverted spirit, Catholicism has some fantastic offerings: Eucharistic Adoration, contemplative prayer such as the Rosary, an entire vocation and lifestyle in the Contemplative life, hundreds of introverted Saints with extensive writings to meditate on… The list goes on and on. To take just one example of the wisdom and practical suggestions to be found in the lives of the saints, look at Saint Teresa of Calcutta, a well-known introvert. This saint insisted on a time of quiet Eucharistic adoration and a rest time during the afternoon for her nuns. As an introvert, she knew that she herself and her fellow nuns needed to carve out quiet and solitude in order to recharge so they could serve others.
So by all means read and enjoy what Introverted Mom has to offer in terms of self-help suggestions, but remember that there are more riches of wisdom to help in the journey of motherhood than Protestantism offers!
So who wants to write a Catholic version of Introverted Mom?